Still can't believe it

I still can't believe that after a roller coaster 8.5 months since my last miscarriage and all the shit AF has caused me, I'm finally pregnant again. It's completely unreal.

It doesn't happen for everyone that they end up with a baby at the end of a pregnancy but I really really feel that I will get this baby. I hope and pray every day. I hope I'm deserving of something finally going right after all the crap that's gone on lately.

On a side note, my parents are flying my grandma from California up here at the end of March. I will keep it from my family until that point and just SHOW her (or tell her if I don't look pregnant at that point) and it will be so much better for her to find out in person. By that point I will be about 16 weeks pregnant as long as the baby doesn't go anywhere. I might even try push to get my anatomy scan that week so I'll have a current picture to send her home with (since we'll probably pay for a gender scan around 20 weeks anyways).

Either way, I'll try get a doppler ordered soon so that I can hear the heartbeat. Someone on my facebook group who is bigger than me, found the heartbeat at 8 weeks so I should have no problem if I order it after my first u/s (hopefully should be within a week of my appointment which is on Valentine's Day).