Operation X Video

The bottom link is the video that was produced about my cousin and another girl. Such a shocker to me to see pictures of him at my wedding in there and even a picture of me. When my aunt and uncle were talking about the hospital and such, I just remembered the day my mom told me. I hope that this video can help some teens debating drugs and using. My cousin only did E recreationally. He was not on it all the time or anything. It was a bad batch that caused this but drugs are not safe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl9jS8oPtEc

Grandma is here and random ramblings

She was out of it after coming off the plane so she didn't look at my shirt even until after she hugged me. But she said that for some reason she was hoping I would be and my aunt's family was asking her if she thought I was pregnant... weird. She was coming for a regular visit, not one I asked her to come for or anything and they all were hoping I would announce I was pregnant?

Anyways after she said that, she jumped up and down like an excited little girl. So funny!

She said the last stocking she'll make for our family will be for this baby, her first great grandchild. We all have matching stockings with santa in a chimney and a moon on the back and our names at the top. She thinks she'll be able to have it made by christmas for this baby even if she starts in september. I'm not sure that she'll want to have it made by christmas considering DH's stocking is just being made now and it's been 2 years almost (but 2 christmases married). There was a lot going on right after we got married though so it doesn't bother me. It wouldn't bother me either to have someone else make the stocking for our baby anyways...

Ooooh I was DROOOOOOLING over oshkosh's baby girl clothes at costco today! I'll dump em in dropbox off my phone and post em here as soon as they show up.. so cute! It's taking forever so you might have to come back and check later. Edit: here they are! The yellow one is carter's technically but it's so cute! They're all two piece except the carter's. They all have a onesie underneath and then the overall looking part

Top left: romper Top right: shorts

Bottom left: carter's onesie with skirt thingy in front Bottom right: overall skirt

So totally stoked to be in the 2nd trimester. I'm officially 3 months and 4 days pregnant (assuming day 1 of being pregnant, aka AF if she was regular, would have been Dec 19th).

Going to see the Hunger Games on Sunday at 4pm. I'd have loved to do a Friday night (tonight) or Thursday 12am showing but I just couldn't make DH do that when he had to work the next day. So we'll see it at 4pm with my grandma and mom and dad.

Poison

The coroner's report on my cousin came back. He was poisoned. The ecstasy was laced with PMMA which apparently is far more deadly than the normal crap that's put into E.

Google It
Connecting Alberta and BC deaths

I just don't understand this world we live in.

My family made the news :(

The news did a story about someone who is in the hospital because of ecstasy. It only took them three deaths to finally put this on the news... :( My aunt and uncle were interviewed.

http://www.ctvbc.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20120102/bc_abbostford_ecstasy_new_years_eve_120102/20120102/?hub=BritishColumbiaHome

In Loving Memory

Funerals

My cousin's funeral was yesterday. It was so depressing and sad but there were so many people there. I heard stories about him that I'd never known. His other grandpa wrote a note for someone to read. It was so sweet. He used to ask, "Who's your favourite grandpa Victor?" and Tyler would answer (when he was really little), "Grandpa Gordon." Everyone howled. It was my favourite memory of the service.

They had an open casket but I couldn't bring myself to look.

My aunt was a mess but my dad says she's grieving well. Apparently she contacted the dealer who sold the drugs and told him that she was the mom of the boy who died and she wouldn't release his name to the police if he went to a counselor (specified by her)  and talked to her. He's already made contact and it's only been 8 days. My uncle is the one we're worried about right now because he's being strong for her and we don't know when he'll crash.

For so long, it was just three cousins on this side of the family and then 7 years ago, my mom's sister had a son and we became 4 cousins. It's hard to believe that we're just three again and we'll never be four again.

I don't have many recent memories of Tyler because it got harder to see him between all his classes and work after he graduated but he was an amazing guy.

His homestay brother from Korea, who lived with them for 5 years, managed to get leave from the Korean military (which isn't supposed to happen). He was heartbroken but I'm so glad that he could be there for them. They really needed him.

Sadness

Is it okay that most of the time I'm sad but not crying?

With my grandpa he lived far, far away and therefore I was able to go about my day to day life without thinking about him dying. He wasn't a regular occurrence in my day to day life, therefore things weren't all that changed for me.

This cousin lived a 2 hour ferry ride (costs over $100 to go across and back) away. It's closer, but still not close enough that he was a regular occurrence in my day to day life as well.

What I'm saying, I guess, is that it feels wrong to not be really upset. I think I MAKE myself feel sadder by thinking about him, the same way I did with my grandpa. It just feels wrong.

Tragedy

Today is one of those days where life takes over all thoughts of TTC. My cousin Tyler died this morning in the hospital (we think) as a result of a drug overdose. I'm positive he wasn't a drug addict but this is still unreal. It's like something that happens in a TV show, not real life.

My family has more questions than answers at this point but from what we know, he asked his friend to take him to the hospital because he was feeling strange and on the way, he slipped into a coma. As far as I know, he never came out of his coma. 

He was 20 years old, an only child and one of only 4 first cousins I have in my entire family.

Below is a picture of me, my brother (tall in blue), my other cousin (little one) and Tyler. This was taken at my wedding. These are all the cousins on my mom's side of the family.

Can you imagine what it would be like to slip into a coma, or go to sleep and never wake up? I think this is a really depressing thought and all I can picture right now, is someone locked away in their body screaming but not being heard. I know this is probably not true, but where is he? Where is my cousin?

One year

Today is the one year anniversary of my grandpa passing away... This is going to be a rough day for my grandma and my dad. It's a bit easier for the rest of us in Canada I think because he lived in California and we do have our own life here but it's still been rough and it's still been a rough year.

I miss him!

Clingy...

I was at Disneyland yesterday and with some family including a newish couple. They are great people and I love them. But, they're so clingy. They had no eyes for anyone else. They complained when we wanted to go on single rider to be fast. They'd rather wait 75 mins to go together than spend 5 mins on the ride apart. That makes no sense to me. They were rarely seen not holding hands. It was so irritating and they wouldn't even ride with anyone else. IMO, clingy couples probably won't last. They'll get sick of each other soon. Again I say, I love them. I just didn't love the way they acted all day.