Another Rant

Dear she who shall not be named,
Just because you had a baby 26 years ago, does not mean you know more than I do about the way the body works. There are TONS of new research and discoveries as well as the INTERNET for those of us nowadays to learn from. Try tell me that you know more about how things work again because "you're OLDER" and I will unleash my hormones on you. Oh, any BY THE WAY... you're WRONG anyways.
Sincerely,
Allyssa

Rant

Dear world,
Just because someone is pregnant and nearing her due date does NOT mean that her vagina is an appropriate topic of conversation... If you wouldn't talk about her vagina while not pregnant, don't talk about it while she's pregnant.
Sincerely,
Allyssa

Labor according to BBC

Surprising Facts: The stages of labor

For first-time moms, labor takes an average of 15 hours, though it's not uncommon to last more than 20. (For women who've previously had a vaginal birth, it takes eight hours, on average.) The process of labor and birth is divided into three main stages. Here are the highlights on how childbirth progresses:

First stage The first stage begins when you start having contractions that progressively dilate and efface your cervix and it ends when your cervix is fully dilated. This stage is divided into two phases, early and active labor.

It can be tricky to determine exactly when early labor starts. That's because early labor contractions are sometimes hard to distinguish from the inefficient Braxton Hicks contractions that you may have been feeling for some time.

Unless there are complications or your midwife or doctor has advised you otherwise, expect to sit out most of your early labor at home. (Be sure, though, to check in with your caregiver to make certain.)

Early labor ends when your cervix is about 4 centimeters dilated and your progress starts to speed up. At this point, you enter what's known as the active phase of labor. Your contractions become more frequent, longer, and stronger.

The last part of the active phase — when your cervix dilates from 8 to 10 centimeters — is called the transition period because it marks the transition to the second stage of labor. This is the most intense part of the first stage, with contractions that are usually very strong, coming about every two and a half to three minutes and lasting a minute or more.

Second stage Once your cervix is fully dilated, the second stage of labor begins: the final descent and birth of your baby. This is the "pushing" stage of labor, and it can last anywhere from minutes to a few hours. (It's likely to be quicker if you've previously given birth vaginally.)

Your baby's head will continue to advance with each push until it "crowns" — the term used to describe the time when the widest part of your baby's head is finally visible. After your baby's head comes out, your midwife or doctor will suction his mouth and nose, and feel around his neck for the umbilical cord. His head then turns to the side as his shoulders rotate inside the pelvis to get into position for their exit. With the next contraction, you'll be coached to push as his shoulders deliver, one at a time, followed by the rest of his body.

You may feel a wide range of emotions now: euphoria, awe, pride, disbelief, excitement (to name a few), and, of course, intense relief that it's all over. Exhausted as you may be, you'll also probably feel a burst of energy, and any thoughts of sleep will vanish for the time being.

Stage three The final stage of labor begins immediately after the birth of your baby and ends with the delivery of your placenta. The contractions in the third stage are relatively mild.

Signs of Labor according to BBC

Surprising Facts: Signs of labor

There's no way to predict when labor is going to start. Your body actually starts "preparing" for labor up to a month before you give birth. You may be blissfully unaware of what's going on or you may begin to notice new symptoms as your due date draws near.

Here are some things that may happen in the weeks or days before labor starts:

• Your baby drops. If this is your first pregnancy, you may feel what's known as "lightening" a few weeks before labor starts as your baby descends lower into your pelvis. You might detect a heaviness in your pelvis as this happens and notice less pressure just below your ribcage, making it easier to catch your breath.
• You note an uptick in Braxton Hicks contractions. More frequent and intense Braxton Hicks contractions can signal pre-labor, during which your cervix ripens and the stage is set for true labor. Some women experience a crampy, menstrual-like feeling during this time.
• You pass your mucus plug. The mucus plug is the small amount of thickened mucus that blocks the cervical canal leading to your uterus. The plug may come out all at once in a lump, or as increased vaginal discharge over the course of several days. The mucus may be tinged with blood (which may be brown, pink, or red), in which case it may be referred to as "bloody show."
• Your water breaks. Most women start having regular contractions sometime before their water breaks, but in some cases, the water breaks first. When this happens, labor usually follows soon. (If contractions don't start promptly on their own, you'll be induced.) Whether the amniotic fluid comes out in a large gush or a small trickle, call your doctor or midwife.

How can I tell if I'm in false labor or true labor?

Sometimes it's very hard to tell false labor from the early stages of true labor. Here are some things that might help you sort it out:

• False labor contractions are unpredictable. They come at irregular intervals and vary in length and intensity. Although true labor contractions may be irregular at first, over time they start coming at regular and shorter intervals, become increasingly more intense, and last longer.
• With false labor, the pain from the contractions is more likely to be centered in your lower abdomen. With true labor, you may feel the pain start in your lower back and wrap around to your abdomen.
• False labor contractions may subside on their own, or when you start or stop an activity or change position. True labor contractions will persist and progress regardless of what you do.

Pregnancy related pictures

Best comebacks for belly grabbers

When someone comes to touch your belly. Squeeze there's right back. They will give you this weird look and simply respond "if you can touch mine why can't I touch yours" This is really great is the person is fat!!

"I might find some cute guys ass a "miracle" but I would not presume to touch it, just cuz I think it is cute!!"

I politely inform them that unwanted touching does constitute sexual harrassment. They quickly remove their hands and move on. It IS my body and not public domain.

I hated when people touched my belly!!! So here's a few things that I tried. Number one question..."when are you due?" Look at them with a shocked face and say "um...I'm not pregnant" and walk away quickly. Or when you see someone walking toward you to touch your belly stare off to the side. If they ask to touch your belly explain that you are losing your site and ask to touch their face...if they say yes be a little rough with their face to they want to get away from you. Lastly if they don't ask and they touch your belly tell then that the slightest amount of pressure on your stomach makes you extremely ill and tell them they may want to back away before you get sick. I was once with a friend who had a woman grab her belly and my friend began to chant a funny sound. When the woman asked what she was doing my friend told her she was helping her baby to absorb the womans soul. You should have seen how fast she walked away. Hope it helps or gave you a laugh.

When I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter, a man I didn't know came up to me in the grocery store and without even saying a word to me, put his hands on my bump! My husband's reaction was PRICELESS! Without saying a word, he reached out to the strange man and "cupped" the man's privates! The man jumped back and said "what do you think you are doing touching me?!?" My husband calmly said, "what do you think it's like for a pregnant woman to be touched by a stranger... anything like what just happened to you?" The man turned to me and apologized and walked away. I didn't know what to say to my husband after the incident, but I have never felt so protected in my whole life!

Say loudly and firmly "Don't touch me". The offender will find that no one will want to be around them, especially people with children.

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My opinions:

• my belly, not yours
• you didn't put baby in there, so don't assume you have full rights to touch
• ask before touching (even family)
• permission to touch does not give full rights to touch anytime you want, just that time
• right now I'm not showing so don't even think about touching

My opinions might change but right now I feel gross and the idea of someone touching my fat freaks me out. We'll see once it's all baby out there.

Adorable

Article

http://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmirhill/2012/02/16/how-target-figured-out-a-teen-girl-was-pregnant-before-her-father-did

Dear non-pregnant person

Did not write this, thought it was funny and just holding it here for your amusement and also so when I tell facebook that I'm pregnant so I can MAKE SURE family reads it.

Dear Non-Pregnant Person, 

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women, as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn’t mean me – then you should probably read this twice.

1. The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is ‘Congratulations!’ with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you a jerk.

2. Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father – not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase ‘my baby’.

3. On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it…

4. The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix, or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5. Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight…ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is ‘You look fabulous!’.

6. By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. Nor do we need to know how badly you will feel for us because we will be pregnant during the summer and how glad you are that YOU will not be pregnant this coming summer.

7. There is a reason that tickets to Labor & Delivery are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL, or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. You weren’t invited to be there when the baby was created, you probably won’t be invited to be there when it comes out either.

8. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital, and the parent’s home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to ‘help out’. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9. If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules, and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10. The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

Sincerely, 

All the Pregnant Women in the World

16 and Pregnant

People talk all the time about watching teen mom so I'm going back and watching 16 and pregnant which apparently is where all the teen moms came from.

It's kinda torture but at least I know that our baby will have a better life than some of the girls on 16 and pregnant who have to deal with parents telling them what to do lol.

Prenatal Vitamins

It's not supposed to be this way :( I started my prenatals when I got preg in March and the bottle is almost empty and I'm still not pregnant, nor do I have a baby...

*Sad face*

Still hopeful for this month, but I don't know if my cycle is gonna be normal. AF at her 28 days (which she hasn't been lately) would be due around Jan 7th, so I'll probably test around then. I didn't find out until 5 weeks last time so I can't remember what I felt like at 4 weeks... If I were to wait and make it to 5 weeks, I'd probably know...

I just keep dreaming, every time I dream, about pregnancy or babies. Some people might call that a sign. But for me it's just like, "Don't get your hopes up. AF could show up in 50 days still since she's so irregular."

It's been exactly 8 months since my miscarriage.

One week apart

Honestly it seems like everyone around me is pregnant. And I'm not kidding. Sometimes I go out and think to myself, hey I haven't seen anyone pregnant yet and then suddenly like 2 walk by.

I talked to someone at work yesterday who's due about 1 week before I was. It was so nice to talk to her about miscarriages and such. She had one recently and so she was better for me to talk to than the ladies at work with kids my age who had them a long time ago. It made me sad. But it made me feel better. It gave me hope.

Anniversaries and milestones

For some reason, the last two anniversaries that fell in my house have also been connected with milestones in my past pregnancy. My parents' anniversary, May 25, was the day after I was going to hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time. Our anniversary, July 3, was around the time that we would get our first ultrasound.

I would have been 19 weeks right now. I'm so depressed.

My Struggles #2

Remember my friend that was having the baby shower in Portland. My second struggle revolved around her and her baby. We were 30 weeks apart. Her baby was born 2 weeks ago and it was a struggle for me.

It wasn't so hard being excited for them when they were in the hospital and having the baby. I enjoyed hearing about their experience and dreaming about my own.

When they finally were able to bring him home, it was just too real for me. The first video that was posted of him that popped up in my facebook newsfeed just made me break down. It was terrible.

It still makes me sad to see pictures but since then, I've blocked her from my newsfeed so pictures and videos don't sneak up on me. I still check them out, but only when I'm ready for them.

My Struggles #1

Shortly after my miscarriage, a couple at my parents' church lost their baby. Their baby was lost due to long cord syndrome and was fine and healthy until the end of the pregnancy when he dropped. The cord wrapped around his neck and the poor little baby was strangled.

The struggle that I had with this is the fact that I had to suffer in silence. I knew this couple and the church. My own parents seemed like they were tired of hearing me talk about the miscarriage (which I didn't talk much at all and talked even less after this experience). The church rearranged their mother's day service to honour this couple and their lost baby.

The only thing that made their baby different from ours is time. The 30+ more weeks that their baby had that our baby never had the chance to have is the only reason the people knew and the only reason that people mourn their loss and don't mourn ours.

I've gotten lots of posts from people on babycenter.com when I posted a post about this. I even got a post from someone who had gone through a stillborn and a miscarriage and posted that they both hurt and they both felt different but it also wasn't fair that people don't mourn miscarriages the same way.

If it wasn't for babycenter.com I don't know how I would have survived.

Pregnant in Heels

I went into watching this show expecting it to follow one person who's pregnant and rich and wears heels, etc. The show is actually about a maternity concierge in NYC who helps pregnant women with their problems, runs a store, designs nurseries and has classes for pregnant women. She basically helps "million dollar mommies to be".

I thought this show would hit the sore spots that I still feel from losing my pregnancy but in fact to see the concierge struggling with infertility (has one child) and working with pregnant women gives me hope that it won't hurt me forever to see pregnant women.

New friend

Through babycenter.com I met a new friend. She lives far far away but we've connected.

It all started with a message I sent her about her ultrasound picture. It was a really early one... must have been 6 weeks maybe. At that time I was still pregnant and dreaming about my first ultrasound. She was there for me when I was complaining about finding out I wouldn't get a first ultrasound until 18 weeks. She was there for me when I went to the ER and when I thought I was miscarrying. She was there for me when I found out I was and even gave me her email to use if babycenter was too hard to be on.

We were preggo buddies and then I miscarried. Just under 2 weeks after my miscarriage was confirmed, she miscarried as well. It was so devastating for us both. I'm glad though, if I had to lose this baby, that I had her to lean on and I'm glad I could be there for her.

As of now, my gmail tells me we've sent almost 70 emails back and forth since April 28.

Here's to many many more emails!

I never knew how badly I wanted it...

The reason I'm so obsessed with baby things is because I was recently pregnant.

Our story:

I had wanted a baby since I was a teenager. I had dreams about having the next immaculate conception. Lol. When I met my husband, I imagined having babies with him and could totally see it. I wanted a baby right away but I knew that we wouldn't have time alone for a long time if we had a baby too soon.

Fast forward 8 months after the wedding. We are planning a visit to Portland for a friend's baby shower and I'm calculating when I should be expecting my period. I calculate the same weekend.

Fast forward about a week, 5 days before we leave-ish. I recalculate and realize that I was off by a week and I'm actually a few days late. We talked about it and agreed that I would test before we left.

Nothing happened and I tested the day before we left and got a positive test. I was shocked and started crying. Over the course of the day I get used to it. The next morning I tested again and got another positive. It was easier to handle and I told my first person that morning. I was so excited to be pregnant. I was 5 weeks pregnant when I found out.

I got it verified by a blood test the following Wednesday and we told my parents, his parents and our grandparents.

I was excited to be pregnant but also feeling like my body was being taken over. I felt weird. Morning sickness... kinda kicked in around 7 weeks. I had a bit of spotting one weekend and told the doctor. The day after the appointment I started spotting again.

By Easter Sunday, I was laying around cramping. Easter Monday it was worse and we went to the ER. I had an exam and they did blood work. They couldn't tell me anything yet except that my HCG was low. The doctor told me it was still within normal but I doubted that. I had it confirmed later that my levels were around what you expect for 4 weeks and I was almost 8 weeks.

My schedule after the ER visit looked like this:
Tues: missed work
Wed: blood work, went in for a meeting and left. It was too hard to handle.
Thurs: missed work, confirmed miscarriage
Fri: missed work
Mon-Wed: missed work again

I just couldn't handle being at work around the few people who knew. I spent a lot of time surfing babycenter.com on their miscarriage support forums. I also watched a ton of Desperate Housewives. I needed all the time to focus on other things. At work there was always too much to think.

So there's my story. Along with this miscarriage, we realized how much we want a baby now.