Really sad

I'm feeling really sad right now. It's probably my own fault for looking at baby things and baby blogs all evening but I haven't felt this down about my miscarriage in a long time. I went through Christmas with barely a thought to it and now I'm sitting here in tears.

:'(

I'm also starting to doubt that I actually saw EWCM since my temp hasn't jumped or anything.

New blog I started reading

I found a new blog to follow off the top mommy blogs. Here is the link to it. Some awesome things I've found on this blog are:

"One idea I read about a while ago was to gather everyone for a picture and right before the picture is taken say "your name here, is pregnant!". That way you catch all of the reactions on camera. Great keepsake."

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Q. What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him.

Q. What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning?
A. It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you.

Q. Should I have a baby after 35?
A. No, 35 children is enough.

Q. How does one sanitize nipples?
A. Bathe daily and wear a clean bra. It beats boiling them in a saucepan.

EWCM

Those of you TTC know what this is :)

I saw EWCM for the first time in 9 months (since we conceived the first time).

So stoked. This might actually maybe be my month...

Def making sure that I take my temp every morning. Hoping to see that jump upwards!

Prenatal Vitamins

It's not supposed to be this way :( I started my prenatals when I got preg in March and the bottle is almost empty and I'm still not pregnant, nor do I have a baby...

*Sad face*

Still hopeful for this month, but I don't know if my cycle is gonna be normal. AF at her 28 days (which she hasn't been lately) would be due around Jan 7th, so I'll probably test around then. I didn't find out until 5 weeks last time so I can't remember what I felt like at 4 weeks... If I were to wait and make it to 5 weeks, I'd probably know...

I just keep dreaming, every time I dream, about pregnancy or babies. Some people might call that a sign. But for me it's just like, "Don't get your hopes up. AF could show up in 50 days still since she's so irregular."

It's been exactly 8 months since my miscarriage.

Camera!!!!!!

They had a great boxing day deal on my camera I wanted so I bought it, plus an external flash. It's so awesome!! It was still $1300 after taxes and the external flash which was 50% off and still $200 so I owe our bank account back $725 but that's okay :)

Here's a two example pictures of some of the first ones I took.

(below) with built in camera flash

(below) with external flash pointed at the dog

(below) with external flash pointed upwards

Here's some of my favourites. I posted them on FB and linked from there so the quality isn't as good.

(above) zoom lens from across the house

50 Q's

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
my middle name is Kathleen after my mom and great grandma on her side.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I don't remember. That's a pretty unusual thing with this TTC roller coaster.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
not much. I like how it's still neat considering I don't write with the right grip.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
ham

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
no but trying

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
yeah, I'd probably get annoyed with myself though

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
sometimes

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I don't think so

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
WW oatmeal probably, so easy to take with you anywhere

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
nope

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
physically no, mentally, who knows...

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
peanut butter cup or cookie dough

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
their face

15. RED OR PINK?
pink

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
my skin

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Megan and my grandma in CA

18. WHAT IS THE PAUL MCKENNA TECHNIQUE THAT YOU NEED TO WORK ON THE MOST?
who's that?

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
none

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
pizza

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Family Guy

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
turquoise

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
baking

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
my mom

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
hideaway on a ski resport

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
hockey during the playoffs

27. HAIR COLOR?
reddish blonde

28. EYE COLOR?
blue/green

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
glasses

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
pizza

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
happy endings

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
I don't remember

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
white

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
both, in small doses

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
hugs mostly

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
cheesecake, or something with peanut butter and chocolate

37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
both

38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
computer

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Sing Me Home by Jodi Picoult

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
the razer symbol

42. FAVORITE SOUND?
my dog prancing through the house when he's called

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
beatles because I don't know of anything by the rolling stones off hand

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
either Quebec or Mexico (from BC)

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
super willpower? lol

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Langley, BC

47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
still in BC

48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
brown? maybe?

49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
orange

50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?
yeah, it's something to do.

Christmas Prezzies!

STOCKING:

1. chocolate peanut butter crisps

2. candy canes cherry flavoured

3. silly string (this was fun!)

4. 17 Again DVD

5. crispers salt and vinegar and Josh's BBQ

6. starlight mints

7. cookie scooper (scoop dough, then squeeze and the dough gets scraped off onto the cookie sheet)

8. sticky LED light for anywhere

9. Qoola frozen yogurt bar gift card

10. rubber twist ties

11. water bottle carrier

12. toblerone (and Josh's)

13. suckers with santa/rudolph etc

14. nose studs

15. Reese big cups!

16. egg timer (Josh's but I'll use it more :P)

17. chocolate letter A

CHRISTMAS EVE:

18. ornament with silk Santa from 1908, stamped with sparkly year 2011 (from M+D)

19. yahtzee flash game (from Elvis :P)

20. sparkly snowman ornament (from Nanny in CA)

CHRISTMAS DAY:

21. Diablo II (to Josh from Elvis)

22. Pick two (like quickie scrabble or bananagrams) (from Josh/Elvis)

23. Corpse Bride (from Elvis to us)

24. Destined book (from Bry)

25. salted caramels (from Satan... cuz you know, only Satan would give us chocolate when we're both on weight watchers lol)

26. the Hunger Games trilogy (from Josh/Elvis)

27. Grey's Anatomy season 1 (from Bry)

28. truffles (from Santa/M+D)

29. Planet 51 (from Elvis to us)

30. Just Dance 3 (from M+D)

CHRISTMAS DAY (CONT):

31. turquoisey short sleeved sweater (from Nanny in CA)

32. poofy knitted scarf (from Nannie and Bapa in BC)

33. soap (from Nannie and Bapa in BC)

34. scarf and gloves (from Nannie and Bapa in BC)

35. Precious Moment (from Candy in NV)

36. Magic Eye Calendar (from Josh/Elvis)

37. Bezzerwizzer board game (from Elvis) 

38. knitted necklace (from Nannie and Bapa in BC)

CHRISTMAS DAY CONT:

39. T-Fal Actifry (fries food with 1 spoon of oil) (from Josh)

40. D-Link Network thingy (from M+D) (will let us have a landline)