I feel like my miscarriage made me lose out on the last 8 months of what my life could have been. I still feel like I'm fighting a losing battle and losing month after month of my life. It's really upsetting to think that if I were still pregnant I would have a baby in a month and a week.
I want to move on from this. I want AF to show regularly so I can feel like for once in the last 8 months, I'm winning a battle.
I know when I get pregnant again I will feel cheated. It will almost 100% be in 2012 or later and it's just not fair. I've lived through knowing I was pregnant and going through the next 8 months of my life. I will have to re-live an entire pregnancy. Why don't I get rewarded for it? Why is there no baby for me? Why do I have to do a do-over?
P.S. AF is so unregular. Light pink tinge Thursday night. A bit on the TP Fri morning and almost nothing throughout yesterday and a bit on the TP this morning. I would think that if my body is going to regulate itself without medical help that it would start with a regular AF (my last one in Aug was normalish for me).