Is it okay that most of the time I'm sad but not crying?
With my grandpa he lived far, far away and therefore I was able to go about my day to day life without thinking about him dying. He wasn't a regular occurrence in my day to day life, therefore things weren't all that changed for me.
This cousin lived a 2 hour ferry ride (costs over $100 to go across and back) away. It's closer, but still not close enough that he was a regular occurrence in my day to day life as well.
What I'm saying, I guess, is that it feels wrong to not be really upset. I think I MAKE myself feel sadder by thinking about him, the same way I did with my grandpa. It just feels wrong.
It's normal to feel this way.
ReplyDeleteI had a friend that I knew for 10 years pass away from an accidental drug overdose and I didn't cry, even once.
It seems like it takes things like infertility, cancer, bad things happen in life to thicken your skin.
When my grandma died I couldn't cry. Everyone around me was, but I just couldn't despite my overwhelming sadness. Everyone deals with grief their own way. Three years later I finally cried for the first time, and the timing was just right.
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